Monday, 4 November 2013

My Past, My Present and My Future

Who wants to be born without a father? Who wants to have to work for a living ? Who wants to enjoy their childhood? Who wants to be successful in her career?  Who wants to enjoy being free from everything? These were some of the questions I asked myself when I was little.

Thirty years ago my family lived in Valenzuela, Metro Manila, Philippines. The three of us were born in that town. My mom was a graduate of Veterinary Medicine but didn't practice it because my dad wanted her to stayed at home to take good care of us. My dad was also a graduate and a license in Veterinary Medicine. He worked at Saudi Arabia. I didn't know much about my father. I only knew that he worked abroad and what kind of job he did.

In the year 19834, my mom received a very important call that changed our life forever. She received a very bad news about my father. The co-worker and a friend of my dad told my mom that my dad was into an accident and died. According to his co-worker he was giving medicine when he slipped on the ladder and fell onto the floor. His head hit the floor first. My dad was 5"11' in height, so you could imagine the strong impact of the floor into my dad's head when it hit the floor. My mom couldn't believed it but she needed to be strong for the three of us. I was one year, two months and five days when that incident happened. I never met my dad at all because when I was born he was away from home. My dad also didn't see me personally because when I was born he was in Saudi Arabia. It really hurts that I've never had a picture with my dad the same as my sisters and friends who have lots of picture with their dad.

My mom decided to send me first to her parent's province in Mindanao so that she can do all the things that needed to be done after the passing away of my dad. After a couple of months my mom and my two sisters followed me in Mindanao. We lived in Southern part of Davao del Sur province in Mindanao. We lived in my grandparents house for a year and my mom decided to moved out  to start a new life just the four of us. It was a struggle for my mom knowing that there were three of us that she needed to fed everyday.

After seven years, my mom remarried to my stepdad. My sisters were against about the marriage and I, myself didn't know what's going on since I am just a little girl that time. I am the youngest among the three girls. But after a couple of months, my sisters gained the trust of my stepdad but not totally though. Since then, I had a father imagine but it really didn't fill in the space of my late father.

My elementary years gone so fast. We went to school with my grandma by just walking for 30 minutes. My grandma was a teacher in our school. We help our mom in our daily needs by bringing the food to the school canteen to be sold. I also help my mom prepare the food a night before or sometimes we wake up early to prepare the food that we were going to sent to the school canteen. While we are in school my mom was also busy with our rice field and my stepdad worked as a checker in a cement company an hour from our place.

When my oldest sister turned twelve, my mom received a letter from one of my father's sister about helping her out in sending us to school. My mom was undecided that time because it's been years that she long for a help from my father's side but none of them helped her. She asked for an advice to my grandpa. My grandpa told her to accept the help that they offered since we really needed helped and the education in the Philippines was so expensive even in that time. So, my mom accepted my aunt's offer and sent my oldest sister to her place at Baguio City in Luzon. At that point I already have two younger half sisters.

When I reached second year high school my mom received another letter from my aunt about helping her out again with my other older sister. My mom didn't think twice and accepted the offer. My mom accompanied my sister to my aunt's place at Baguio City. I was left alone at home with my two half sisters and my stepdad. It was the first challenge of my life. For a month, I became a mother to my two half-sisters aged 7 years old and 5 years old. I realized that being a mom was a tough job.

After five months, my aunt send my second sister back home because my sister was prone in joining a fraternity and my aunt was afraid that something bad might happen to her. It was in the middle of school year when my sister was sent home. She cannot coupe up with the days that she wasn't in school so she was off to school for another five months. We went to high school in the same school. I was lucky to have an older sister because my classmate can't bully me at all. My high school life was awesome even though I can't go to any party or stay late in school because my stepdad didn't want us to stay late outside the house, he wanted us to be at home by six o'clock in the evening. It suck's isn't it but that's my life. I graduated high school with a decent grades and I'm proud of myself. It was that stage of my life that I fully accepted that I didn't have had my father. I really long for a father. I am really jealous seeing my friends and classmates with their dad. But I am still lucky because my stepdad was so nice to us even if he was too strict. We celebrated my graduation happily.

I took Bachelor of Secondary of Education with concentration in Mathematics when I was in college. Actually, I not an avid fan of numbers, I enrolled myself in Library Science but unfortunately none of my classmate in high school enrolled in the said concentration. I took my chances and took Mathematics as my concentration because my classmates in high school was there. Silly me. But fortunately, I am the only one among my friends who succeeded in Mathematics, my two classmates in high school didn't met the passing grade in Algebra to be qualified in taking Mathematics as the field of concentration .

I had my college life same as those of my friends and classmates. I had attended lots of seminars and conferences that were related to my course. I am one of the athletes in our Department . I played as the center player in women's basketball. My stepdad didn't wanted me to joined the said sport because it was physical and every time the Intramurals was done I would have been confined into the hospital for three days due to over-fatigue. In year 2003, I finished bachelor's degree. I wish to graduate with flying colors but I'm not that intelligent.

In year 2004, I passed my Licensure Examination for Professional Teacher. I applied for a job and luckily I was hired as a substitute teacher for two months. Then, I had a permanent full-time position as a teacher in my city. I was so happy because I was earning money and that was the time I realized that it was very hard to earned money. Because I am already earning I helped my mom and my stepdad in paying the utilities at home. I love my profession and really like what I'm doing. One day, an opportunity strike into my door, my aunt from Canada asked me if I wanted to migrate in Canada. I didn't planned on going abroad I was already happy of what I had that time. But my mom, my stepdad, and my sisters really asked me to grab the opportunity. So, I gave them my word and applied as an immigrant in Canada.

I was twenty-five years old when I engaged myself to a romantic relationship. I've been on that relationship for almost five years. We thought we were a perfect match but it didn't happen. We broke up. I will not say that it was his fault just to clean up my name. I think both of us were to be blame why our relationship ended. After a couple of months, I fell in love again. I was so stupid and didn't think twice in this second relationship. We were both happy and content with what were doing. Months pass and the relationship became stronger. In the middle of our relationship I heard a good news from my application as an immigrant in Canada. I am just waiting for my medical examination. While waiting for my visa, I encountered a crucial event in my life, I got pregnant. I didn't know what to do that time because I did not wanted my mom and my stepdad to be disappointed at me. I wanted to make  sure that I was pregnant that time, so I decided to go to an Obygyne. The doctor was our family friend. When she confirmed that I was pregnant, tears rolled over my face, that time I only think of my stepdad, my mom and my sisters. Without any hesitation, I told the doctor to get an abortion but the doctor disagreed with my idea of having an abortion. She told me that she was not practicing abortion as she was a Christian. She told me the consequences of having abortion. She told me that I was so lucky to be pregnant because she herself wanted to have had one but she and her husband cannot have one. I was really blessed to have a doctor like her. She went to our house and personally told my mom and my boyfriend that I was pregnant. Only the four of us knew that I was pregnant.

After days of waiting my visa as permanent resident in Canada arrived. My family was so happy but not me, knowing my situation. I told my boyfriend that even I am pregnant I will still go to Canada and face the consequences alone. He didn't stopped me with my decision. I just told him that after three years I'll come back and we will get married. I gave up everything I had and decided to migrate in Canada. The day I left my country was also the day I resigned as a teacher.

I struggled a lot when I came to Canada. I was so afraid that I will be deported because of my pregnancy but I was wrong. My relatives in here were mad at me because of what happened to me. But God is so good and helped me those difficult days of my life. I did proved to them that I could make it. After nine months, I gave birth with a baby boy and name him after my dad. He was the first boy in our family. We had a good communication with his dad but after a couple of months things changed. I didn't know what happen. Every time we chatted we always argued and my love to him turned into hatred. I decided to ended up my relationship with him. Maybe I did something wrong but I had enough. We broke up and from that day he wasn't able to see my son because I blocked him in every single account that I had have online.

Right now,  I am happy living with my son and a married couple whom I treat us my elder brother and sister. He is in preschool now and I am taking up Medical Administrative Assistant at Saskatoon Business College her in Saskatchewan. I am working as casual every weekend to sustain our daily needs. Right now, I have a boyfriend and he is so supportive on my studies and even to my son.  My sisters are also here with their families. It was funny because after many years of being separated to each other we were reunited again here in Canada. My mom, myself and my two elder sisters. God is so good to us. I hope one day I can have the dream that I always had to be married and to have my family of my own, a decent job and a house that I can also say my home.

This is my life story and hope you had fun reading it.


1 comment:

  1. Wow, that's a powerful autobiography!
    As God has said, "I will honour those who honour me" (1 Samuel 2:30).

    ReplyDelete