Sunday, 26 May 2013

THE STRUGGLE OF A SINGLE MOM IN A NEW LAND...



Being a mom is not an easy task. It is even more challenging if you are a single mom. I have a friend who is a single mom. Her name is Lorrie. She arived in Canada last July as a permanent resident. She was two months pregnant when she arrived here. She didn't know what life she would be having or how she would start her new life in Canada knowing that she was pregnant. She stayed at her aunt's place. It was not easy for her to search for a job. After a month of searching she found a decent part-time job as floor associate in Walmart. A few months later she was hired as a food service worker in a hospital. She worked hard so that she could buy stuff for her coming baby. She worked two part-time jobs and worked night and day just to earn the money.
In February 2010 at nine o'clock in the evening she gave birth to an 8lb, 52.5 cm baby boy. She was so happy when she saw her first baby. She was a mom now. From that day the struggle of being a single mom started.
Two months after giving birth she went back to work because she didn't receive any help from the government since her hours of work didn't met the requirements to get an employment insurance. It was not easy for her to leave her son at a very young age to the babysitter. Good thing her sister helped her take care of her baby when she went to work. Her routine everyday was dropping off and picking up her son at the babysitter, going to work and after work taking care of her son.
Months later she got a permanent full-time position in the hospital. She worked a full-time job and a part-time job. Sometimes she worked 12 hours a day just to sustain their basic needs. It was hard for her to be away from her son for long hours but she couldn't do anything about it because she was the only one making money for them to live on. The first year of her stay in Canada was full of struggles.
After a year her son still couldn't speak that much. He would only use gestures to communicate. She brought him to a community clinic for vaccination one day and the nurse asked her if her son was talking much. She told the nurse that he was not talking as much as other kids of the same age. So the nurse give her advised on what to do and she decided to send her son to a speech therapist. This was another challenge for her since no one could bring her son to therapy. So she decided to trade all her shifts just to make the days of her son's therapy.
Every time the season changed her son would get sick and have a high fever. He was prone to seizures so everytime he got a high fever he would have seizure. He could only take Tylenol for medication because he was allergic to Advil. So that was another challenge for her, not to let her son's fever go too high. Her son would had an ear infection and had to be hospitalized for five days with pneumonia. It was then she decided to quit her other part-time job so that she could spend more time looking after him. She decided not to take any overtime so that she could spend her days off with her son, who was everything to her.
I felt sorry for her seeing the struggle she is having. One day, I finally decided to help her. I asked my husband if it was okay if we would help Lorrie. We were married for ten years and didn't have any children. On September of 2012 we decided to move into a duplex together with Lorrie to help her take care of her son. When she went to work early in the morning I would be the one who babysat her son. When she came home after work we would hand him back. If she worked late she would leave her son at the babysitter. We would treat her as our younger sister and her son as our little nephew. So far this situation is helping her. My husband and I are very happy to see them every day.
Right now, her son is a three-year-old boy. He is very energetic and very active. She let him join some activities this summer and brings him to his therapies and doctor's appointments. She is now used to their daily routine. Being a single mom is a challenging role. I am very proud of my friend Lorrie because she is brave enough to face the storm by herself. I know that there will be more trials that she will be facing later but I think she can manage them. But there's one thing that she is afraid of, the day her son ask "Who is my dad?" "Where is my dad?"

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